Why Anxiety Makes It Hard to Trust Your Own Decisions
Anxiety makes decisions feel unsafe because anxious minds have a harder time tolerating uncertainty. Many people who experience high levels of anxiety have a lower tolerance for uncertainty. Needing more information and more reassurance before they feel ready to choose, even in situations that aren't especially ambiguous. This drives the overthinking, second-guessing, and reassurance-seeking that make everyday decisions feel exhausting. The good news: self-trust isn't a fixed trait. It's a skill that can be rebuilt, and therapy is one of the most effective ways to rebuild it.
You've read the pros and cons list three times. You've texted two friends, half-written an email you didn't send, and replayed a conversation that happened four hours ago. And you still don't know what to do.
If this feels familiar, this isn't proof that you're "bad at decisions." It's what anxiety does, and it's more common than you probably realize.
Why does anxiety make it hard to trust your own decisions?
Researchers who study anxiety have found that anxious minds tend to have a much harder time tolerating uncertainty. In one well-known study, people with a lower tolerance for uncertainty needed significantly more information before they felt ready to decide, even in situations that weren't especially ambiguous. Their brains kept searching for a guarantee that doesn't exist.
This tendency sits at the center of how researchers understand generalized anxiety itself. One influential model proposes that people who struggle to tolerate uncertainty respond to unclear situations with worry, and that this worry drives many of the patterns anxious people recognize in themselves:
Endless "what if" thinking
The need to double- and triple-check decisions
Difficulty settling on a choice, even a small one
Seeking reassurance from other people before trusting your own read
So if you've ever thought, why can't I just decide like normal people?, the honest answer is that your nervous system has been asking for a level of certainty that no decision can actually offer. That's a pattern, and patterns can shift.
Why does anxiety turn ordinary decisions into threats?
Anxiety's job is to keep you safe by scanning for what could go wrong. When you're anxious, a decision isn't just a decision. It's a potential mistake, a potential regret, a potential version of you being judged or disappointed. So your mind does what it thinks will protect you: it gathers more information, runs the scenarios a hundred times, and looks outside itself for reassurance that the choice is "right."
The problem is, this strategy backfires. Research on worry shows that people who worry a lot often believe worry itself helps them problem-solve and prevent bad outcomes. In reality, it usually just delays the decision and deepens the self-doubt, because no amount of mental rehearsal can produce the one thing anxiety is actually asking for: a guarantee. And guarantees don't exist, for anxious people or anyone else.
Can you rebuild self-trust after anxiety has eroded it?
Yes. Self-trust isn't something you either have or don't have. It's built, incrementally, through small, repeated evidence that you can make a call, live with the outcome, and handle whatever comes next.
Confidence was never about making the "perfect" choice every time. It's the felt sense that you can navigate uncertainty, with resilience, self-compassion, and enough internal steadiness to keep going even when you can't see the whole picture. That sense can be rebuilt, no matter how long it's been missing or how long you've relied on others to tell you what to do.
What does it look like to trust yourself again?
Imagine reaching a decision point, a job offer, a boundary with a friend, whether to end a relationship, and instead of spiraling into reassurance-seeking, you pause, check in with yourself, and know. Not because you've eliminated every unknown, but because you trust that you'll be okay even if it doesn't go perfectly.
That version of you exists.
Key Takeaways
Anxious minds have a lower tolerance for uncertainty, which drives overthinking and decision paralysis.
Worry feels productive, but research shows it usually delays decisions and deepens self-doubt instead of resolving it.
Self-trust is a learnable skill, not a fixed personality trait.
Rebuilding self-trust happens through small, repeated decisions, not one big breakthrough.
Therapy can help you interrupt the overthinking cycle and rebuild confidence in your own judgment.
Therapy in Fort Collins for anxiety and decision paralysis
You don't have to have this all figured out before you reach out. If the overthinking, the second-guessing, or the exhausting search for certainty sounds familiar, I offer therapy in Fort Collins for men and women navigating anxiety, and I'd love to talk with you about what's been going on and what rebuilding your self-trust could look like for you.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal for anxiety to make decision-making harder?
Yes. Difficulty trusting your own decisions is one of the most common ways anxiety shows up, and it's rooted in how anxious minds process uncertainty, not a personal failing.
Why does more research or more opinions not make me feel more confident?
Because anxiety isn't actually looking for information, it's looking for certainty, and certainty isn't something any amount of research can provide. More input often just prolongs the doubt.
Can therapy help with decision paralysis caused by anxiety?
Yes. Therapy can help you identify the intolerance-of-uncertainty pattern driving your indecision, build tolerance for not knowing, and practice trusting your own judgment in low-stakes situations first.
How long does it take to rebuild self-trust?
There's no fixed timeline. Self-trust is built through repeated small experiences of deciding and coping with the outcome, so it tends to grow gradually rather than all at once.
About the Author
Megan Silberhorn is a therapist and owner of Megan Silberhorn Counseling in Fort Collins, Colorado. She specializes in anxiety, complex trauma, and supporting women through the emotional and cognitive challenges of midlife and perimenopause. If you're ready to stop white-knuckling it alone, she'd love to hear from you.
References
Borkovec, T. D., Hazlett-Stevens, H., & Diaz, M. L. (1999). The role of positive beliefs about worry in generalized anxiety disorder and its treatment. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 6(2), 126-138.
Dugas, M. J., Gagnon, F., Ladouceur, R., & Freeston, M. H. (1998). Generalized anxiety disorder: A preliminary test of a conceptual model. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 36(2), 215-226.
Ladouceur, R., Talbot, F., & Dugas, M. J. (1997). Behavioral expressions of intolerance of uncertainty in worry. Behavior Modification, 21(3), 355-371.
